In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and he answered by setting me free. Psalm 118:5

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Freedom through Obedience

I have blogged about this topic before, but honestly, we could hardly talk too much about obedience, given this world in which we live.

As I read my devotional this morning, I couldn't help but think about my current weight issues (beyond the battle as a whole, and more specifically, the 10lbs I've gained in less than 4 weeks...thank you very much, Mr. Abilify!) and how I believe God to be testing me heavily right now.

I'm doing everything right. I'm counting my calories and working out 7 days a week, like a professional athlete (okay, that might be a slight exaggeration, but that's what it feels like!). This issue of obedience is so distinct that I can almost hear Him aking if I'll still obey Him (by eating right) even though all this hard work isn't paying off, or if I'll continue to do the hard work (physically) when I'm not getting positive physical results? How about the spiritual work? My answer is yes, yes and yes. Will I still trust Him even though this is my present reality? Again, yes, and here's why.

(from Breaking Free devotional by Beth Moore)
I know that sometimes we can be in too much bondage to even imagine living an obedient life. We want God to somehow wave a wand over us and magically remove every hindrance without requiring anything of us. But if God simply waved a wand over us and broke every yoke without our cooperation [obedience], we would soon pick up another. We cannot go forward without obedience.

I have certainly wished God would snap His all-powerful fingers and peel this entire oh-so-cumbersome mess off of me, but it is for my good and His glory that He has not done that. God is teaching me obedience, and the obedience I learn now will protect me from blindly taking on yet another yoke later!

In the sometimes-violent throes of this ugly, beautiful journey, I have had to depend completely on God, and He has blessed me with countless spritual breakthroughs and tremendous emotional healing. I am learning to trust God, to cling to Him, to remain in Him. If God waved some ridiculous wand, I would have no need to seek Him, obey Him and dig deep, and I would certainly have missed out on the precious and priceless intimacy I've experienced with my Heavenly Father.

Now, I'm not saying God doesn't ever choose to release someone immediately from the yoke they carry, because He certainly can and does. God is the ultimate Healer. But in my case, God knows me too well to give me such instantaneous freedom. In His infinite wisdom, He knew I had lessons to learn that would otherwise be lost through freedom that required no work on my part.

So, is this weight gain worth it? Is this stage of the war REALLY worth it? Most certainly, and utterly YES. It's unmistakably worth every extraordinary step of the way. I will continue to walk with God, and He will hold my hand all the way.


I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand and say to you, "Do not fear, I will help you." Isaiah 41:13

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. John 15: 9b-11

1 comment:

  1. I bet you didn't ever think you would be in a place where you could and would choose obedience and (subsequently) intimacy with God over tangible results from all of your hard work! You're maturity is so beautiful, Stephanie! I'm grinning from ear to ear when I hear of these victories and insights you're experiencing and I can only imagine how big our heavenly Father's smile is :D I love your guts!

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