I was warming up on the treadmill this morning, when I heard what has become familiar lately...God nudging me and saying, "Today is the day. You're gonna run the mile today." Until today, I've ignored this nudge and made every excuse why "today" coudn't possibly be the day. I was out of excuses though, and desperately wanted to accomplish this goal.
Then I heard Mandisa singing, and it could only have been her to inspire me to crank up my treadmill. "Shackles" was pumping in my ears and through my blood.
I began to run. Focus. Sweat equity. Determination. Utter Obedience. Self-discipline. Effort. These got me through the first half, but only that far. I couldn't begin to imagine how I was going to get through the second half. You see, I've never run more than about 5 to 6 minutes at a time, and that's my highest time. And when I say I'm running, it's only barely more than a jog. I'm not a runner...yet.
For the last half mile I begged God to empower me, to drag my feet if He had to. Whatever it took. I had committed my actions to Him, and His word tells me if I do that, my plan will succeed (Proverbs 16:3). When it got really bad, I claimed outloud, "your grace is enough," or "I will not quit, I will not quit, I will not quit." Over. And over. And over. And then some more. I even recall repeatedly saying, "C'mon God," in anticipation of Him filling me with whatever I needed in order to drag my butt across the finish line.
I called out to Him and He answered me.
I finished that mile. While it wasn't physically or technically perfect, It was one of the most amazing moments I've ever had with God. It was a mountaintop experience if I've ever had one. God showed me with crystal-like clarity that His strength really is made perfect in my weakness (2Cor 12:9). Friends, it wasn't me that got me across the 1-mile line. God got me there and reminded me that He will get me across every finish line in every race I run, if I will only submit to Him and let Him get me there.
Friends, I have trust issues with God, and apparently always have, thanks to negative human influence. I've learned recently that one of my biggest fears in life is that God will somehow let me down. And "when" He does, where does that leave me? In the middle of nowhere, lost in a black abyss, with nothing, because I've put all my faith in Him (except what I've put in myself)...if He fails me, I have absolutely NOTHING.
Running this mile today was an exercise in trust. Even though I knew I was not physically ready to run an entire mile, I stepped out of the boat, trusting God to make my way on the water. And He did. Everytime I give God the chance to prove Himself, He exceeds my expectations and builds my trust in Him. He loves me with such a pure and complete love, a love lacking nothing, that He is willingly and patiently "proving" Himself to me through moments like these.
What a glorious, intimate truth God revealed to me this morning. Trusting Him allowed me to lay down the strength I think I have within myself, the strength that can only get me part of the way, and make room for what really lies beneath. That, sisters, is HIS power. And I would much rather call on His power than my own.
So I ask you, friends, where do you need God run beside you? Where do you need Him to fill you with His infinite power to give you a strong finish? Where does He need to carry you to the finish line? Remember, though, that before He can do any of these things, you must first let go of yourself to make room for Him and the power He brings with Him.
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. 2 Cor 12:9
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